Monday, October 15, 2012

Occupy legal division

So, I come home from another awesome week at work the other day only to stumble over a thick letter from the Internal Revenue Service.


Basically, its a judgment paper asking me "how do I plea?" on a disputed charge.  The charge goes back to the settlement table when I decided to begin occupying.  The mortgage broker messed up the HUD-1 and cordially asked me to work outside the sheet, in order to cover his ass and continue with the closing.  I already had a pretty miserable time obtaining the house, so I took about a half hour to review the math, and decided that everything zeroed out so I continued with closing.

Big mistake.  That error has been haunting me to this very day.  So I consulted the legal department...

Being your own lawyer has its advantages: 1) the price is right and 2) see number 1.  The disadvantages are too long to list here.  Thus, I got hired for the job.

In doing some research into the occupy archives, I began taking notes and reconstructing a time line.  That timeline turned into a letter that I sent to the IRS to justify my defense.  I'm providing the "timeline of events" section for your entertainment.  We'll see how it goes.  Although it may seem pretty ridiculous, its real.

The players:
Borrower = me
Mortgage Broker = *I will withhold their name, even though I really don't want to * 

Let's just let the dust settle on this tax thing.  From our legal department and for your reading pleasure:

Timeline of events:
Day 1
On closing day, Mortgage Broker personnel reveal to Borrower that they have made an error on their portion of the HUD-1 (executed HUD-1 attached).  Mortgage Broker pulls Borrower into a side room for about a half hour to try to explain how they can rectify the situation by removing the $3717.78 Borrower owes on lines 802 which gives Borrower a credit on line 803.  Not wanting to call the settlement off, Borrower begrudgingly agrees to pay Mortgage Broker outside of HUD -1, as long as Mortgage Broker provides a receipt for tax purposes.  Borrower writes check to Mortgage Broker (attached).  Mortgage Broker agrees and is appreciative for Borrower’s willingness to cooperate.  Borrower vows to never deal with idiots of this caliber ever again.
Day 4
Mortgage Broker cashes $3717.78 check from Borrower (bank statement attached) 
Day 29
Mortgage Broker never provides receipt for this bizarre transaction, so Borrower begins to asking for receipt. 
Day 32
Mortgage Broker provides a written receipt (word document, attached) 
Day 272
Borrower realizes that a word document is not sufficient documentation for filing taxes and asks Mortgage Broker for 1098. 
Day 275
Borrower calls repeatedly to speak to representative at Mortgage Broker and does not get ANY phone calls back (email evidence, attached) 
Day 276
Borrower receives 1098 Mortgage Interest Statement from Mortgage Broker, showing that Borrower paid $3717.78 to Mortgage Broker for points paid on purchase of principal residence (1098 Attached). 
Day 301
Borrower files federal taxes with the IRS.  IRS acknowledges receipt. 
Day 851
Borrower receives package in the mail from IRS, with invoice for $895.  Borrower reviews page 7 on IRS document where it shows that Mortgage Broker has filed the money they received from the real estate transaction they claimed as 1099-MISC.  Instead of showing that Borrower paid Mortgage Broker, Mortgage Broker inaccurately claims that they have paid Borrower $3717.78.  See attached check from Borrower to Mortgage Broker, showing a debit from Borrower’s bank account. 
Day 853
Borrower spends hours digging up all the supporting documentation on this miserable transaction to justify his side of the story to IRS (a violation of personal code of ethics to never deal with idiots [Mortgage Broker] of this caliber again).  In doing so, Borrower types up this document for his own records.

Day 854
Borrower wishes a slow and painful death to Mortgage Broker, and prays that they do not procreate.

The occupy staff is available for all your tax law needs, on a sliding scale of course.


  1. So is everything sorted out with the IRS then?

  2. Not yet. I had a good phone conversation with the IRS a few days ago. I tried to reach out to the mortgage broker twice, but I'm getting the runaround. Work in progress.

    I'm going to try to keep it off the weblog, even though I feel like this topic gets more interest than photos and jpgs from sketchup!